Demented Tidbits: "You Had Me At Hello", A Muppet Mission Statement

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The blogosphere is chock full of those "One Hundred Things About Me" lists. An OCD afflicted voyeur to the core, I've always been a fan of those. A rebel even more, I've avoided doing one myself for fear of following the herd. Most of us are sheep. We follow. As a iconoclastic Aries, I hate that idea. I prefer to lead. But sometimes, I feel sheepish too. In the end, both suck. The ever brilliant Hugh McCloud, on his wonderful blog "Gaping Void", has this to say about that...

I've been thinking a lot about choice lately. Many adults, like children, see the world as black OR white. That makes things easy. Boring as hell. But simple. Comforting even. In the most recent issue of New York magazine, there is an article about happiness. In a nutshell, it says that psychologists are finding more and more that contrary to popular belief, it is an EXCESS of choices that make us miserable. It sounds crazy but it's true. And that is why so many people are depressed, lost and confused. Throw in the added pressure of being a multi-talented artist, and well...you've got a recipe for cuticles that look like ground round.

That choice thing really is true. I mean, shit, we live in the most choice laden time in the history of civilization. Just go to the Cheesecake Factory. The menu is like War and Peace. That's why I like very expensive restaurants. The menu is shorter than a Munchkin. Well, that's not the only reason I like expensive restaurants. I like them because you can't get steak au poivre et pomme frites at the Cheesecake factory. But I digress. Back to black and white. Come on, left brain, reel him in!

OK, here we go...

Through blood, sweat, tears and twenty years of therapy, I've come to painfully learn that life isn't black or white. It's black AND white. Which, when put into a blender and set it on frappe, make grey. Or is that gray? Maybe it's both. Both isn't so bad. It might be depressing, but bad? No. I think it's good.

I've spent the last six months picking myself up by the bootstraps and reviving my inner artist from a parental abandonment coma. I've dusted myself off and begun the path to the freedom that comes with being an adult. For the longest time, I thought I had to leave my Baby Boy behind on this journey. Quite the contrary, I've had to exercise my man muscles so that they'd be strong enough to carry him forever. I didn't have to retire my Superman cape, I had to get it out. Maybe we don't have to be sheeps or wolves. Clark or The Man of Steel. We can be both. Hero and Muppet. Maybe then we can avoid loneliness and boredom and just make something great. Or make something great out of loneliness. Together. Taking turns. Sometimes sheep, sometimes wolves, always authentic to whatever the moment brings.

Speaking of fear, I've spent way too much time worrying about money and not enough time actualizing my dreams. I have wrongly assumed that I would have to give up my #1 dream of being an artist in order to make a living. Also wrong. In fact, if I can use the information loving, obsessive compulsive, grown up power of my left brain to harness and focus the wild child, Janis Joplin, Muppet power of my right brain, I don't just think, I know I can make a living. Not just a living. A very good living. And that, as Anthony Robbins would say, is a "personal must" for me. I want to live the good life and do what I do best. Make art.

Yes!

And I don't have to choose between millionaire and artist. I can be both! Just ask Hugh...

Or ask the other Hugh...

Talk about a guy who lived his dream. Christ...

No, Hef!

So that's the plan. To compromise and become a millionaire artist.

Scratch that.

To NOT compromise and stay true to my self.

That's the how of becoming a successful artist. Or maybe, the real how is to choose where you are willing to compromise and where you are not, and stick to it like glue. For me, I am not willing to compromise my goal of helping people through art. I am not willing to compromise my goal of making enough money to not only support a family, but spoil them rotten. I don't just want a good income, I want a disposable income. Period. I never want money to be a reason for not giving my wife, children, friends and myself everything that we all deserve. I want to feel safe and I want the people I love to feel safe. I want to make enough money to keep a savings account full and have enough left over to play like crazy and have exquisitely beautiful things.

Bottom life: I want a beautiful life. And I want to keep making art.

Want isn't enough.

I will have a beautiful life. I will keep making art.

Now that has power in it.

The tough thing for me is, what medium? I've always been jealous of those people who knew what they wanted to do since childhood. Insanely jealous. You know, like..."I've always been good with numbers, and I love travel, so overseas investments are it for me!" or maybe..."My dad was a dentist and now I'm a dentist, teeth run in the family...and it's paid off, just last year, my practice hit twelve hundred patients!", or "Real Estate gets me pumped, it reminds me of when I used to play Monopoly as a kid!" and blah, blah, blah, blah, aaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!! Fuck!!!!

What do you do if you have a BEVY of interests? ALL artistic?

You get youself into therapy and smoke a lot of cigarettes.

Seriously though, what if your father was not a dentist?

What does a boy do if his daddy was a writer, director, actor, voice over artist, satirist, comedian, puppeteer, producer, advertising creative and general all-around renaissance man?

A boy doesn't do anything.

But a grown-up might.

If that grown up was named Donavan, he might just follow suit. That should be easy. My father and I both love Brooks Brothers. Single breasted. 42 Long. 36 regular. Break at the cuff. Hmm...that's funny, it seems humor came in the inside pocket of this Frebergian coat of arms.

Thank God.

Or should that be, "In God We Trust"?

$$$!

Shall we make that list now?

It may take me some time to step up to the plate, but I'm a man of my word. And when I step up, I swing hard. I have to, I'm aiming over the fence.

Not just a man of my word, I am a man of words. Words are my favorite thing. In fact, in going back to doing what you loved as a child, I loved talking. I loved it so much in fact, that I sounded like that kid from Jerry Maguire..."The Human Brain Weighs Eight Pounds!". Yeah. That was me. When people asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up, I said, "TALK!".

I didn't have to wait long to "do".

I landed my first job at seven.

Talking.

Into a microphone.

Made a bundle, too.

Still talking into the mike. Bundle is on it's way.

So that's it. I found my one thing.

Talk!

No, "talk" implies a lack of action.

Communicate!

Bingo.

Communication. Art in action. Reaching people through personal expression using images, words and feelings.

Number one, in my book.

LEFT BRAIN: Speaking of numbers, how are we feeling about that list, Donavan? What happened to that whole "man of his word" jazz? List!

RIGHT BRAIN: It's coming! Hang on to your cerebral cortex. I'm still gonna break the rules, though. It'll be a list, but it's gonna be stream of consciousness, not necessarily in order. Sometimes neat and tidy and sometimes disheveled. Just like me. It may be specific. It may be non-specific. It might include brands. It might include bands. It might be contradictory. It might be silly. It might be sad. It might be sexy. It will truthful. It will be incomplete. It will be replete. It's won't be "100 Things About Me". It's gonna be "100 Things I Love". Because that's what makes the world go round. Not words. Love.

LEFT BRAIN: Sheesh, talk, talk, talk. How about, ACTION!? As in, "Just Do It".

RIGHT BRAIN: God I hate cliches, especially ones that are overused advertsing slogans used by exercise-a-holics.

LEFT BRAIN: Yawn. I'm waiting. Let's go! I'm ready to jump in when you are, after all, you're gonna need me. A list implies numbers. And don't forget the links. I love links!

RIGHT BRAIN: Links? Of course, there will be links. To pictures! I love pictures!

LEFT BRAIN: A hemisphere could die from waiting...

RIGHT BRAIN: OK, OK. Lights! Camera!

LEFT BRAIN: Links!

RIGHT BRAIN: Action!

RIGHTLEFT BRAIN:

1. Love
Without it, I truly believe that the earth would stop spinning on it's axis and burn to a crisp. If we want to save the world, we should start by loving more.

2. Communication
Without it, #1 becomes #2, as in "shit".

3. Art
Joan Miro, Marc Chagall, Paul Klee, Egon Schiele, Wassily Kandinsky, Gustav Klimt, Henri Matisse, Edvard Munch, Amadeo Modigliani, Pablo Picasso, John Currin, Andy Warhol, R. Crumb, Marcel Duchamp, Marcel Dzama, Takashi Murakami, Cindy Sherman, Chris Ware, David Hockney, Georgia O'Keefe, Frida Kahlo, Claes Oldenburg, Barbara Kruger, Daniel Clowes, Roy Lichtenstein, Yoshitomo Nara, Jean-Michel Basquiat, Lisa Yuskavage and my favorite artist of all, Jessica Racioppo. Haven't heard of her? You will.

4. Passion
Depression is it's #1 enemy. #3, #2 and #1 are it's food, with a heavy sprinkling of #6 and a side of #8. My passion? Acting. In every sense of the word. Action is the only thing that speaks louder than words. Sometimes it's like pulling teeth for me to get out of #60, but I'm gonna keep putting one foot in front of the other, come hell or highwater. And the whole way, I'm gonna remember to give myself heaping silver spoonfulls of...

5. Comfort
Giving & Receiving. So essential is comfort to me, that it beat out the entry below.

6. Sex
Love may make the world go round, but #6 makes it worth the stay.

7. Words
I am a champion Scrabbler.

8. Dreams
"Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the actions stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living."--Anais Nin*
*See also: #59

9. New York City
The greatest city in the world.

10. Muppets
This applies to the show and the creatures of course, but also to a particular kind of person. My favorite kind of person.

11. Autumn
In Central Park. Wearing a turtleneck and an overcoat, holding the hand of someone I love, on our way to the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

12. Orgasm
Especially the moment right before.

13. Magazines, Magazines, Magazines...What can I say, I'm an information junkie.
I love to look at the pictures. I love the way the pages turn. I love interesting articles and interviews. I love to study the ads. I love the way they feel. I even like the way they smell. Favorites? Wow, so many...New Yorker, Wired, Dwell, Jane, Nest, World Of Interiors, National Geographic, Believer, HOW, Res, American Photo, Play, Flaunt, Colors, Art News, American Cinematographer, Utne Reader, New York, W, Esquire, Vogue (Especially Japanese & British Vogue), Entertainment Weekly, Art News, Harpers, Communication Arts, GQ (Especially British GQ), Arena, T3, The Week, Cosmo, Vanity Fair, Atlantic Monthly, Wallpaper...just to name a few. Or more than a few. Is it apparent how much I bloody well love magazines? At least twice a month, I have to go through STACKS of them to see which I'm gonna throw out and which ones I'm gonna keep. If I didn't they would pile up so high, I couldn't get to the front door. I think I might have a problem. Is there a treatment program? "Hello, my name is Donavan and I'm a magazine addict. It all started when I was a little boy and my father would take me to the all night news stand..."

14. Ice Cream
Vanilla or Coffee. Strawberry is good too. Ice cream is serious business to me, so I choose only the best. Haagen Dazs. My freezer is never without it. Best ingested right out of the carton, with a silver spoon. Could also be in the form of a #179. Also good served from an old fashioned ice cream truck. The kind that plays the scary clown music. My favorites? Bomb Pop, Big Stick, Fudgesicle, Ice Cream Sandwich, Push Up, Drumstick and of course, the ever delicious Strawberry Shortcake bar. See also: #190.

15. Chocolate
Dark, with at least 70% cacao content. Preferred Brand: Scharffenberger.

16. Erotica
Creamsicle. All you need to know about my penchant for porn.

17. Coffee
The darker the better. Starbucks for comfort, Peets for taste, Graffeo for quality. The Coffee Bean sucks. With one exception. Iced Blended Mocha's.

18. Espresso
Double Shot. Americano, Starbucks or Peets. Or an iced Latte, Starbucks.

19. Strawberries
Organic.

20. Whipped Cream
Fresh. By the spoonfull.

21. Organic Strawberries AND Fresh Whipped Cream

22. Red Wine
Especially good with #15.

23. Food
I am a foodie. I never get people who don't really appreciate food. It's like not liking #10, #79 or #88. In other words, just, well, wrong. Food is comfort. Food is home. Food is best. I like to eat out (see also#45). If I could, I'd do it nearly every night. Favorite food? Japanese. (see#71). I also LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Italian food. Especially the Spaghetti Bolognese from La Scala. With a glass of #22. French food aint too shabby either. Give me Pate or give me death! And we haven't even gotten to desert. We will. But before we do, let's talk Pot Pie! Chicken Pot Pie, from The Daily Grill. I like the part that melts over the side, like dough. Mmmm. Good for dipping. Hamburgers, french fries and hot dogs are also good. As is Fried Chicken. Or turkey. Club Sandwiches rule. Bacon & Eggs is the best. PB&J! Cheese! Pasta! Please! I'm hungry!

24. Dessert
Told you we'd get there. I love it almost as much as I hate the place that sounds like Dessert, but has one less s. If it involves sand, heat, snakes, or a southwestern theme count me out. I hate the desert, unless by "The Desert" you mean sipping Mojitos and reading the New Yorker poolside in Palm Springs. If it means a cactus or a snakebite, though, no thanks. But if it involves a la mode, I'm there. Cupcakes!

25. High Thread Count Sheets
Frette. They supply all the sheets for The Ritz in Paris, The Dorchester in London, The Pierre in New York and the bathrobes for The Beverly Hills Hotel. They even supplied the sheets for the Titanic. Many of the people in First Class died in their sleep. Enough said.

26. Handjobs & Blowjobs
The only kind of job worth waking up early for.

27. Down Comforters
High Fill. Hypo-Allergenic. Highly Wonderful. Scandia, of course.

28. Finely Tailored Suits
Brooks Brothers or English Cut. I want a closet full someday, even if I rarely wear them. See also:#106.

29. Shirts
I love Paul Smith, Lacoste, James Perse, Ermenegildo Zegna, John Smedly, Banana Republic, Brooks Brothers, Fred Perry. I love shirts period! Especially pink ones. With stripes.

30. Ties
Bow or straight. I likes em' both. Where would I get them? Barneys.

31. Vests
Or as they say in England, 'waistcoats'.

32. Overcoats & Raincoats
Weatherproof, of course. Burberry or Barbour. Or a vintage Aquascutum.

33. Shoes
Camper, Clarkes, New Balance, Jack Purcell, Gucci, Prada, Adidas, Puma. I wouldn't touch a pair of Earth shoes or Teva's with a ten foot pole. U-G-L-Y!

34. Shaving Accoutrements
I love a bristle brush, good shaving soap and a great razor. You can keep your Mach 3 and Edge gel, I'll take a nickel plated shaving set from Penhaligons.

35. Musicals
From "Singing In The Rain" to "How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying" to "Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory", "Funny Face" to "The Wizard Of Oz", "Annie" to "My Fair Lady", I love em' all. Especially the early ones. Especially if Busby Berkely or Fred Astaire are involved. Especially if I can sing along. Which I always do. Stage or Screen, I'm there. Give me Cole Porter and George Gershwin. Give me people breaking into song at the drop of a top hat. Gimme, Gimme, Gimme! Of course I love musicals. I mean, life is a musical. Or at least, the good life is.

36. Muffins
Blueberry is my favorite. Corn is good too. So is walnut. Yum! Where? City Bakery, of course! If you go to the one in LA, be sure to check out the "Chocolate Room". Be on the lookout for Oompah-Loompah's!

37. Movies
Annie Hall, Harold & Maude, Fantastic Planet, Eyes Wide Shut, Halloween, Animal House, Amelie, The Royal Tenenbaums, Willy Wonka, Lost in Translation, Pippi Longstockings, Star Wars, ET, My Fair Lady, Howl's Moving Castle, Grey Gardens, The Shining, Rushmore, Rosemary's Baby, It's A Wonderful Life, A Christmas Story, I Love You Alice B. Tokeless, March Of The Penguins, Fanny & Alexander, Manhattan, Mary Poppins, The Life Aquatic, A Clockwork Orange, Nights Of Cabiria, The Graduate, Being There, Arthur, Boogie Nights, Holiday, Roman Holiday, Husbands & Wives, The Dark Crystal, Everyone Says I Love You, The Secret Of Roan Inish, Breaking The Waves, When Harry Met Sally, Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind, The Philadelphia Story, A New Leaf, Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House, The Wizard Of Oz, Beverly Hills Cop, So I Married An Axe Murderer, Singing In The Rain, Saturday Night Fever, The Muppets Take Manhattan, Follow That Bird, Jerry Maguire, Joe Versus The Volcano, Juliet Of The Spirits, The Party, Crazy People, Superman, Secretary, The Lover, The Dreamers, Mulholland Drive, City Lights, Donnie Darko, Funny Face, Metropolis, Mrs. Doubtfire, Don't Look Now, City Of Women…hmmm…shall I go on and on and on?

38. Lox & Bagels
Fresh nova from Barney Greengrass. Full fat cream cheese. Tomatoes. Capers. Onions. And, of course...New York Bagels. Not that Noah's fluff, I'm talking H&H!

39. Pizza
Cheese or Pepperoni. Maybe some Mushrooms or Olives. I love pizza. Especially if it's referred to as "pie" and served piping hot on a cold winters night in the above city. Take off your gloves, grab a large # 44 and enjoy.

40. Macintosh
Computer & Rain Coat. I also like the fruit and the stereo, though they're spelled a bit differently.

41. Rain
Especially with thunder and lightning.

42. iPod (Video)
I love the ability to hold all my records in my hand, iTunes rocks. Well worth $300. But the abilty to watch a classic clip of the Muppets or screen a whole porno movie while standing in line at the DMV? Now that's priceless.

43. Filofax
Fine English leather and a more organized Donavan? Awesome. I've tried to go electronic, but it just doesn't work for me. I need to be able to doodle. On paper. Old school wins again. Speaking of OS, I use a Fountain Pen with mine.

44. Coca-Cola
Coke is the holy grail. It is medicine, magic, mother's milk. If Coke didn't exist, I'd jump off the Brooklyn bridge with rocks in my shoes.

45. Cunnilingus
World Record Holder.

46. Iced Tea
Not that passion fruit shit, I mean black tea. English. Brewed extra dark. Over ice. Lots of ice. In a tall glass. No sugar. No lemon. No exceptions.

47. Iced Coffee
So good, I had to mention it again.

48. Sex
So good, I had to mention it again.

49. Bookstores
Especially second hand and independent.

50. Computers
Got my first one at eight, an Apple II. Took it apart. Put it back together. Haven't stopped since.

51. Photography (Shooting & Admiring)
Favorite photographers include but are not limited to: Arbus, Araki, Newton, LaChapelle, Adams, Gorman (more Peter than Greg), Loretta Lux, Stiegletz, Saudek, Sturges, Cindy Sherman, Cartier-Bresson.

Favorite cameras? Here we go...Pro Digital: Canon EOS 1 DS Mark II. Consumer Digital: Canon Rebel Xt. 35mm SLR: Nikon F6. Rangefinder: Leica M7. Medium Format: Hasselblad 503CW or Contax 645, Large Format: Toyo 4x5 or 6x7. And, of course, Polaroids rock. I also love Lomos and Holgas. Favorite Film? Fuji NPS or NPC 160. Looks smooth as silk with an extra stop over 100ASA. Insert the word, "geek" anywhere here. I prefer "connosieur". Or, "expert".

52. Collecting stuff.
I am a passionate curator to the core.

53. Vintage anything. *see above
Favorite collectables include kitchenware (bakelite!), toys, vinyl records, first edition books, comics, furniture and dusty old magazines. I love old magazines.

54. Books
Too many to mention, but if you take the beginning of Lolita and The End Of Charlie & The Chocolate Factory and throw in the tone of Catcher In The Rye with the surrealism of Haruki Murakami, the wit of Tom Robbins, the eroticism of Henry Miller and Anais Nin and the style of the Great Gatsby, you might come close to my taste in literature. I also love non-fiction, especially art books, photography books and biographies.

55. Google
See also: information junkie.

56. Libraries
See also: information junkie.

57. Music
Shit, where do I begin? I love all kinds of music. Classical, Rock, Jazz, Opera, Blues, Experimental. But at the core, I'm old fashioned. It don't mean a thing if it aint got that swing. Some of my musical favorites include Stevie Wonder, Marvin Gaye, Bob Dylan, The Beatles, The Beach Boys, Johnny Cash, The Mountain Goats, Bjork, Beck, Beach Boys, Beastie Boys, Fredo Viola, Mozart, Eminem, Nina Simone, Tom Waits, Jimi Hendrix, Simon &; Garfunkel, Joni Mitchel, Eminem, Zero 7, Tom Waits, Ben Folds Five, Bach, Jeff Buckley, Carol King, Janis Joplin, Joanna Newsom, The Rolling Stones, The Jackson 5, Donovan, Kate Bush, Randy Newman, Krishna Das, Nick Drake, Cat Stevens, Van Morrison, Prince, Peter, Paul & Mary, The Mommas & The Poppas, Radiohead, Belle & Sebastian, They Might Be Giants, Elton John, Ella Fitzgerald, Pink Floyd, Rosemary Clooney, Marlo Thomas & Friends, John Denver, Dolly Parton, Frank Sinatra, Beethoven, Schubert, Coltrane, Crosby, Stills & Nash, The Clash, The Muppets. Which brings me to my next favorite...

58. Sesame Street!
Especially Grover, Cookie Monster, Oscar, Ernie & Snuffy. And I gotta admit, I really love Elmo. Elmo love you too, Donnie! Hee Hee! Come and play, everythings A-OK!

59. Quotes
I'm addicted.

60. Bed
There aren't enough superlatives to convey my love of bed. Sleep is a religion to me, naps are my middle name. I even like working from bed. Not to mention doing other things... ;) The mattress is everything. Given my choice, I'll take a Duxiana 7007. With lots of pillows. See also:#25 and #27. As for the frame, I'd have to say I'm a sucker for a Stickley Sleighbed. King Sized!

61. Playboy
Circa 1950's-1970's. Today's issues are pure shit.

62. Superheroes
Especially Superman. He's a glasses wearing writer who can fly and lives in a mansion made of ice called "The Fortress Of Solitude". What more do you want?

63. Flowers
I love flowers. I love smelling them, watering them and especially, sending them. I like Gerbera Daisies, Peonies, Ranunculus, Daisies, Sunflowers, and most of all, Roses. Especially late bloomers. They bloom the biggest and smell the most fragrant. There is a lesson there to be learned.

64. Wes Anderson
I am such a Tennenbaum. I even had a tent in my livingroom as a kid, and wore Adidas sweatsuits.

65. Yoshitomo Nara
A curmudgeony chain smoking Japanese anime surrealist painter. What more do you need to know?

66. Boba Milk Tea
Especially if it's served by a cute Japanese girl. I love piercing the top of the drink with the sharp end of the big straw. Guess it's the Acupuncturist in me.

67. Toiletries, Grooming Products & Eau D' Parfum
Especially Kiehls and L'Occitane. Keihls makes a blue lotion that will zap a zit in 24 hours. They also make great shampoo and lip balm that is unparalleled. L'Occitane makes the best soap on the planet. They also make a killer Shea Butter hand cream that will make your hands feel as soft as a babies bottom. And they just started selling "Green Tea Refreshing Towlettes". The thought of a towlette that is infused with green tea makes me intensely pleased. One should never be without a moist towlette. I also like colognes and perfumes. Not the kind you smell hanging around in an elevator like an unwelcome house guest, I'm talking about the kind of fancy French cologne that Joni Mitchell sings about in Carrie. For me: Annick Goutal Eau d'Hadrien. On a woman: Diptyque L'ombre dans L'eau.

68. Chinese Medicine
The Su Wen, iChing and Nei Jing have the answers to nearly every question ever asked. Which brings me to my next number.

69. Questions
The only self help tool that really works.

70. Hair Dryers
Ionic of course, for that frizz free blow. If I had the cash, I'd pick up a T3 Tourmaline.

71. Sushi
My favorite food on the planet, bar none. And as anybody who's read #23 can plainly see, that's saying a lot. I like the kind of high end suhi bar where the chef chooses for you. See also:#164. Just grab your chopsticks, add some Wasabi and fill the wondrous little square dish with soy sauce. The red topped one. It's higher in #112.

72. Beach Sized Bath Towels
100% Cotton, White. One for body, one for hair. Both gigantic and fluffy. There's nothing I hate more than a tiny, non-fluffy towel.

73. Robes
100% Cotton Terry, XL, Hotel Logo, Pockets, Also White.

74. Pajamas
I like Brooks Brothers wrinkle resistant, 100% cotton, drawstring pajamas. White with blue piping. I'm wearing a pair as I type this.

75. Air Conditioning
God bless you, Willis Carrier.

76. Aquaphor
Good for management of over zealous cuticle biting, the hallmark of a true tortured artist.

77. Cigarettes
I know, I know. Bad. But sometimes, I need one. Make that, I often have one. When I do, I only smoke one brand. Nat Sherman. 100% Natural. 500 5th Avenue. Since 1930. I like the MCD's. If I was gayer, I would smoke their "fantasia lights fantasy cigarettes", available in almost all the colors of the rainbow, with gold filters. Awesome.

78. Woody Allen
All his films are good, but some are life changing. My personal favorites include...Everyone Says I Love You is my favorite (see # 35) It's followed closely though by Annie Hall, Manhattan, Sleeper, Husbands and Wives, Deconstructing Harry, Sweet & Lowdown, Bananas, Zelig, Broadway Danny Rose, Mighty Aphrodite, Alice and Hannah and Her Sisters. I also really like his book, "Without Feathers". Brilliant.

79. The Beatles
The walrus was Paul.

80. Sony Televisions
It's the flat comb filter+the Trinitron tube. I've had a lot of TV's. Sony makes the best. Period. If it's a liquid crystal flat panel, Sony still makes the best.

81. Cranes Stationary
Keeping alive the dying art of letter writing since 1850. Lovely, simple, lasting. Just how good is their paper? They supply the U.S. Mint. They make the paper for the money in your wallet. That's how good. Oh, and they made the invitations to opening of the Statue of Liberty in 1886. Wish I'd gotten one!

82. Swiss Army Knives
Like a single breasted blue blazer or a pair of jumper cables, every man should have one. I do. I like the champion model, it has a built in corkscrew. Very handy. I mean, how else are you gonna open your bottle of #22 when you're sitting under the stars at #97?

83. Marcel Dzama
Demented. Delightful. Dzama!

84. Japan
Vending machines that sell used panties and green tea? When does the next flight leave?

85. Hello Kitty
Sanrio Rocks! So much so, that I made it my favorite number. They even make Hello Kitty Brand Band-Aids and Vibrators, two of lifes most important inventions!

86. Radio Shack
The people that work there these days are often assholes. I remember when it was run by cool geeks with pocket protectors who played Dungeons & Dragons on their lunch hour. Still, when you need a 75 ohm gold plated coaxial cable, an RCA cord switch box or a 200 channel multi-band police scanner, where else are you gonna go?

87. Newstands
They remind me of my childhood and sell #13

88. Museums
See also: #3. See also: Beyond Wonderful.

89. Mid Century Modernism
All of it, but most especially the work of Eero Sarinen and Charles & Ray Eames.

90. Great Design
See above and below and all over.

91. Art Deco
From vintage Cartier to the Chrysler building, Art Deco has Donavan written all over it.

92. Mercedes Benz
I've had plenty of cars, nothing drives like a Mercedes. The Japanese make great cars, no doubt. Japanese cars are functional, practical, efficient, economical, simple. Hmmm...yeah. I'll take the C230. In black. With cream interior.

93. Kermit
The lovers, the dreamers and me. If it aint a rainbow connection, it's a bad connection. Hi Ho!

94. Romance
I'm hopeless. Scratch that. I'm hope-FULL. And that, is my definition of a Romantic.

95. The Smell Of Rain In Springtime
It's the negative ions. Isn't that romantic?

96. The Full Moon On A Cloudless Night
Yes, it is.

97. The Hollywood Bowl
Fireworks and Live Music. Good times. See also:#98.

98. Stars
One little star, reaching far through the night...
Do you shine on my someone? Are we sharing your light?
Oh, one little star, shine on us both tonight.

99. First Class
First class is a way of life. If I'm gonna fly by the seat of my pants, you can be damn sure I'm not going coach.

100. Rebellion
See also: Thinking Outside The Box, Taking Risks, Being Brave, Being A Pirate & Envisioning What Everybody Else Thinks Is Impossible. On this note, let's break the rule of "100" favorite things and move on to #101.

101. Jim Henson
Of all my heroes, his combination of child-like wonder, artistic vision and brilliant sense of humor have shaped my inner artist the most.

102. Carol Burnett
Ditto.

103. Luggage
I love luggage. Especially really, really good luggage. My favorites? Louis Vuitton, as long as I have a porter. Tumi, if I don't. See also: Joe Vs. The Volcano..."This sir, is a luggage problem".

104. Shel Silverstein
I love all his books but "The Missing Piece Meets The Big O" is my all time favorite, though "Different Dances" comes a close second.

105. The Way The Rings Of Saturn Look Through A Really Good Telescope
I was eight when I first saw them, I'll never forget it.

106. Binoculars
Great for bird watching. And girl watching.

107. Roller Skates
You can keep your blades, I'll take wheels. With some disco pumping loud on the stereo. As a kid, I skated like crazy. Black skates. Red wheels. Super cool. In LA in the 70's, there was a place called "Flippers". It was a disco derby. It was the Southern California version of Studio 54. It was awesome. How awesome was it? They shot an episode of "Charlies Angels" there. Sabrina never looked hotter. Ooohh, Sabrina! I always go for the brainy brunettes. Especially if they like roller skating and carry a gun in their purse.

108. Beverly Hills, 90210
The place, not the show. It will always be home. I'm a big fan of palm trees and cash.

109. The Borders Of England & Scotland
The most beautiful place I've ever been.

110. Hawaii
The second most beautiful place I've ever been.

111. Gore-Tex Jackets
Especially North Face, Patagonia, Marmot. I love Gore-Tex jackets. I live in California. Southern California. I have a closet full. I'm not a "rough it" kinda guy. I still want more. I'm a sick, sick man.

112. Gore Tex Hiking Boots
Vasque or Asolo. Best with really good sweat wicking sock liners. Good for trips to the park. See also: sick, sick man.

113. Gore Tex Anything!
Even dental floss. See also: sick, sick man.

114. Audrey Hepburn
The opposite of Gore-Tex. The definition of perfect.

115. Backups
I love "Backups". Let me explain. As a kid, my father had two of many of his favorite material possesions. Things like shirts, ties, cars. He also had a back up plan. For instance, we'd plan to go to Disneyland, but in case we changed our mind, we also had movie tickets. This is sick, I know. I love it. Case in point: I received a really cool Capitol Records T-Shirt from Urban Outfitters as a gift from my sister. It's green, tattered, very cool. It fits me perfectly. I bought another as backup. I never wear it. It sits, neatly folded in my closet. Should I spill some #22 on it, or should it get lost or stolen, I have insurance. I have a backup. Like my dad, I also like to make back-up plans. As in, "We're going camping this weekend, but I've also booked a room at a nearby hotel in case we feel like throwing in the towel". Which brings me to...

116. Throwing In The Towel
I love the adult right to say, "I'm done". Even if a task is not completed, even if I haven't reached the top of the hill, even if I'm halfway through a boring meeting. Especially if I'm halfway through a boring meeting. I reserve the right to give up when I want to, not when someone else tells me to. See also: #100. Of course, the next number is equally important.

114. Persistance
If you're passing through hell, don't stop for directions.

115. Swedish Chef
Just because. Doot doo da doo doo...Croonchy Stars!

116. Wikipedia
Just awesome. Take it from me, I'm an encyclopedia expert.

117. Full Service Gas
Fill er' up! Oh, and could you check my tires, top my fluids and wash my windows?

118. Snopes.com
I'm a sucker for Urban Legends. Know the one about the alligators in the NYC sewer? Damn. Not true.

119. Black Tie.
Georgio Armani all the way for me.

120. George Carlin
I motherfucking love that cocksucker.

121. Gene Wilder
So shines a good deed in a weary world.

122. Improv
All of life is Improvised.

123. 24 Hour Room Service
Especially continental breakfast and late supper. Room Service is one of my top reasons for living. I love the way the glasses are covered in saran wrap, the plates are covered by a silver protector with a little hole for your finger and the fact that the cart has a built in warmer underneath the white tablecloth. Genius.

124. Mini-Bar
Should be well stocked with Toblerone, Evian, Pellegrino, Tonic, Coke, Macadamia nuts. Growing up, we had one in every bedroom of the house.

125. Hotels
If you knew my love of hotels, you'd know that this list is in no particular order. Hotels are much more than a place, they are a way of life. From the beds to the sheets, the robes to the bath, I'm never leaving. I want a five star life with a late checkout. My favorite hotel?

126. The Beverly Hills Hotel
It's pink and Howard Hughes stayed there. What more do you need to know? The best patty melt in town, the grandest swimming pool, the finest...

127. 5- star Public Bathrooms
I have IBS. I demand a cloth towel and a mint.

128. Poetry
Especially WH Auden, Rilke, ee cummings, Walt Whitman, Emily Dickinson, Shel Silverstein, Ray Bradbury, Richard Brautigan and TS Elliot.

129. Advertising
This almost didn't make the list, but since I am the Son of Stan and #110 seems to dub me an "Advertising Creative", I had to include it. Advertising Creative. Christ, when did an adjective become a noun. Bastards. I could say a lot about advertising, but here is the bottom line for me: Advertising is the force. As in, "Star Wars". The force is powerful. VERY powerful. It can be used for good. It can be used for bad. Whether you are Yoda or Vader depends on you. And the client. And therein lies the rub. I truly believe that advertising is the most powerful medium on earth. Therefore, it has the potential to effect the biggest social changes. As long as it remains a client driven business however, it is nothing more than audio visual wallpaper designed to make people feel more empty inside. Still, when it is done right, by brilliant people and brave clients, it's awesome. I still believe. Enough to try.

130. Pirates
The real kind, not the kind that work in yellow prison cells.

131. Edward Gorey
I love all his work, but "The Gashleycrumb Tinies", "The Curious Sofa" and "The Doubtful Guest" are my all time favorites. "N is for Neville, who died of Ennui".

132. SARK
I love SARK. Yes, she's sappy. Yes, she's a bit New-Agey. I still love her. She is a human sunflower. Call this number if you don't believe me: 415-546-3742 (EPIC). You can listen and leave a message 24 Hours daily. Tell her Donavan sent you. I like all her books, but my favorite will always be "A Creative Companion". Brilliant. I have two. Both signed. See #106.

133. Record Players
Especially the kind that are all in one. If they are second hand and say, "P.S. #102" on the side and in a previous life played records for small children, all the more magical.

134. Bathtubs
I like a classic cast-iron clawfoot standalone. Smack dab in the middle of a spacious 1920's style bathroom with sea green tile and a chandelier. If we're talking high tech modern, I'll go with a sunken tub, Jacuzzi jets, big enough for two. Kohler makes some great ones.

135. Swimming Pools
As a kid, all summer, my fingers looked like prunes. I'd swim every day if I had a pool. And every night. In the nude.

136. Thank You Notes
See also: #81

137. Richard Brautigan
He is amazing. He is a master of erotic DaDaism and a painter of words. As a writer, I draw on him as a constant source of inspiration. Check this out...

"Magic is the color of the thing you wear with a dragon for a button and a lion for a lamp with a carrot for a colar and a salmon for a zipper. Hey! You're turning me on baby. That's the way it's going down. WOW!"

Or...perhaps the sexiest poem ever written...

"The sweet juices of your mouth are like castles bathed in honey. I've never had it done so gently before. You have put a circle of castles around my penis and you swirl them like sunlight on the wings of birds".

And my all time favorite love poem...

"Ah, you're just a copy of all the candy bars I've ever eaten".

WOW! indeed.

Speaking of wow...

138. French Kissing
Best done with eyes closed and heart open.

139. Wet Grass On Bare Feet On A Hot Day
Especially if I am skipping.

140. Rocks & Minerals
As a kid, I had pockets full of rocks. I would go out collecting and come home to classify them using my "Field Guide To Rocks and Minerals". I even had a rock tumbler, which polished them to perfection. I told you I was a Tenenbaum.

142. Trees
Ahhh...I can breathe!

143. Iconoclasts
I appreciate everyone whose pushes the artistic, cerebral and social envelope. Albert Einstein to Leonardo DaVinci. Richard Feynman to Jane Goodall. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart to Malcolm Gladwell. The capabilities of the human mind are only eclipsed by the capabilities of the human heart. #1!

144. Crayons
Great for impromptu coloring sessions. I recommend taking off your shoes, getting on the floor, putting on some Janis Joplin and going to town! I love the big box with the built in sharpener. So many great colors! I especially dig brick red, sky blue, forest green, canary yellow, magenta, and, if you can get your hands on a vintage box (lucky you), Prussian Blue! And of course, purple. As long as we're on the subject of Harold...

145. Harold & Maude
Favorite...Movie...Ever.

146. Honey
Whether it's all over the naked body of my favorite performance artist, coating the back of my throat as I perform at the mike, all over the fingers of Chritopher Robins best friend or drizzled onto my morning side of full fat greek yogurt, Honey is the bees knees. Best served out of a little plastic bear, which, as any pothead will tell you, also makes a terrific bong.

147. Butter
Melted onto hot sourdough bread, a big fluffy baked potato, or just about any old time. Everything's better with butter. Speaking of one of my favorite dairy products...

148. Frank
Sinatra, that is. Just like #147.

149. Female Jazz Singers
I love #148, not to mention a slew of other boys with golden chords, but given my choice, I'm going for Ella. I just love girl singers. When they croon, I swoon. You dig? I dig miss Fitzgerald, Nina Simone, Sarah Vaughan, Billie Holiday, Etta James, Lena Horne, Peggy Lee and of course...Rosemary Clooney. She is in one of my favorite musicals, and her song, "Come On A My House" is one of my all time favorites. I did just that as a kid, where we picked fresh #19's in her #89 garden.

150. Trader Vic's
From the Pake noodles and artichoke hearts to the beef cho-cho's to the peach blossom duck, I'm hungry. They serve a drink a drink called a "Singapore Symphony". Out of a pineapple. If you order a Mai Tai, it comes with a paper umbrella and a rock sugar swizzle stick. I used to steal it out of my mothers beverage, put it in the inside pocket of my tiny Brooks Brothers blazer and eat it on the car ride home. This wonderful place is a Freberg family tradition. I'm devastated by the rumor that it's closing its LA location. I hope it's just a sick, sick lie.

151. Graphic Novels
Daniel Clowes, Chris Ware, Adrian Tomine, Jeffrey Brown, Craig Thompson, Will Eisner, Winsor McKay, Harvey Pekar and of course...

152. R. Crumb
I like big butts.

153. The New York Times
I love crossword puzzles. And Sundays. And #9.

154. The New Yorker
My favorite #13.

155. Parks
I love, love, love parks. Especially if they have swings, fountains and big trees. Or if they are smack dab in the middle of the aforementioned #9.

156. Recording Studios
Some people were born in a trunk, I was born in a recording studio. I love everything about them. They are dark, cool, coffee laden and filled with creativity. I can't think of a better combination or anywhere I'd rather be. It is where I watched my father make a living and make the world smile at the same time. I plan on doing the same.

157. The Criterion Collection
Much better than film school and cheaper too!

158. Valet Parking
Always.

159. Tipping
Especially over-tipping.

160. Hypochondria
It's my constant companion, I'd better learn to like it. Which brings me to...

161. Doctors
My filofax is 50% doctors. See also: #155.

162. Anatomy & Physiology
I figured, if you can't beat em', join em'. So I spent more than a decade studying medicine. I won't be needing my textbook understanding the inner workings of the female reproductive system to make a living, but you never know when it might come in handy at other times.

163. Sable Brushes
The best to paint with.

164. German Lenses
The best to shoot with.

165. Le Creuset
The best to cook with.

166. Old friends
The best to be with.

167. Babies
The best to play with. I love babies. Especially the way the top of their head smells and how wonderfully small their fingernails are. I like playing with them at around eight months. This is when they get a sense of "Object Permanence". That way, you can really have a good game of Peek-A-Boo.

168. Elephants
I love elephants. From Snuffy to Babar to the real thing, if it's got a trunk, I'm in love.

169. Iron Chef
I always feel sorry for the loser.

170. Television
The only reason I don't own Tivo is because if I did, I'd never leave the house. And god knows I don't need another excuse to not get out of #60. One word. Or maybe several...Twilight...Zone...Marathon. It's a cookbook!!!!

171. Watches
I love watches. Wristwatches, Pocket Watches (See #31), Stop Watches, I'm a sucker for a beautiful timepiece. You can have your digital Timex Ironman or G-Shock, I'll take a Rolex Oyster Perpetual or a vintage Hamilton. I want a watch I can leave to my Grandson. I'm not alone, the Dalai Lama is a consummate watch collector. This makes me love him even more than I already do...which leads us to...

172. The Dalai Lama
Anybody who says that their religion is "kindness" is A-OK in my book.

173. Danny Gregory
Now this is a guy who manages to make a living and be creative. A master with the paintbrush, deft drawer, brilliant ad guy and a first rate pal. His book, "The Creative License" should be required reading for all struggling artists. He is a real #191. And he always makes me think. Especially of the next entry.

174. Moleskine Journals
Never leave home without it. I don't. If you want to see what you can do with one, go here. Or better yet, pick one up yourself and start pretending you're the next person on the list.

175. Harriet The Spy
This was my favorite book as a young boy. I still have a crush on her. What can I say, I have a thing for obsessive compulsive girls who wear glasses.

176. Childrens Books
Figured I'd stick this between George and Harriet. Best read aloud to little ones between the ages of 1 and 100.

177. Curious George
Monkeys rule. Especially ones named George.

178. Gifts
I like giving even more than receiving, and I really like receiving. Growing up, we had a "wrapping room". It's only purpose was for wrapping gifts. It had bows, ribbons, paper galore and boxes of all shapes and sizes. It even had a small map of all the post boxes in town and when the time for last drop off was. I think that may be why I especially like sending gifts through the mail. Sending care packages to people I love fills me with intense joy. Ditto for postcards and letters. Hmmm...

179. Letters
I'm an e-mail addict, I check my inbox more times a day than I think about #6, #48 or #199. But I do love to write letters. It is truly a dying art. And I love to save dying arts almost as I love to rescue dying artists.

180. Tools
I like tools. Not the kind you buy at Sears, though those can be fun. Especially if they come in a shiny red box. But I mean a different kind. I mean..."Something regarded as necessary to the carrying out of one's occupation or profession".

181. Hot Fudge Sundaes
I learned how to make one from Ray Bradbury. Two scoops, warm chocolate sauce, whipped cream, cherry on top. Two spoons. See also: #14 and #20.

182. Hot Tea
As in, PG Tips. As in, English teatime. With finger sandwiches, scones with butter and jam and a nice, big pot.

183. Peanut Butter & Jelly
St. Dalfour and Skippy. High end jam. Bargain basement peanut butter. That's how it's done. Best on white bread with a glass of WHOLE milk. No 2% for me. I like my milk to taste like #14.

184. Salt
Mmmmm...salt. Sometimes I crave it so badly, I want to pour it into my mouth. If you ever feel like that, I recommend Ramen noodles. The real stuff, from a noodle house. None of that migraine inducing, MSG laden Cup O' Noodles shit. If it's not served with pickles, you're in the wrong place.

185. Breakfast
Eggs, Bacon, Toast, Butter, Jam, Coffee. Best served in #60. On a tray. With a copy of #153. And some fresh #63.

186. Cupcakes
Mmmmm...cupcakes.

187. Cookies
C is for cookie, that's good enough for me.

188. Christmas
Oh the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful...how could a boy who grew up in a house where the tree was up all year long not like December 25th?

189. Halloween
The only thing that holds a candle to #170. Why? #177, of course!

190. The Sound Of Children Squealing With Delight
Wheeee!!! Yay!!!!! AAaagghhhh! Haaaa! Yippeeee!!!! Heeee!!!

191. The Sound Of Applause
One of the best things that hands do, and that's saying an awful lot. We all need more Bravo's in our life.

192. The Sound Of Silence
God bless Simon & Garfunkel. Talk about a couple of poets. I mean, "Hello darkness my old friend"? Good god. Brilliant. But in this case I mean the sound of silence, as you can clearly see from the lack of the letter s above. Silence is gold. Stand inside an empty church if you don't believe me. A big one. It's perfect peace.

193. Being A Mensch
This is important to me...
mensch or mensh ( P ) Pronunciation Key (mnsh)
n. Informal pl. mensch·es or mensch·en (mnshn)

A person having admirable characteristics, such as fortitude and firmness of purpose: “He radiates the kind of fundamental decency that has a name in Yiddish; he's a mensch” (James Atlas).

194. Dictionary.com

Main Entry:	fantastic
Part of Speech:	adjective ³
Definition:	wonderful
Synonyms:	best, best ever, cat's meow, delicious, excellent, far out, first-class, first-rate, like wow, marvelous, primo, sensational, superb, unreal*

Comments

Bravo. A delighful and honest entry. Something to dream about.

Posted by: Heidi | July 18, 2006 at 10:19 PM

Brilliant and fantastic. I loved this blog. You should call your book "If I'm gonna fly by the seat of my pants, you can be damn sure I'm not going coach."...You are like a combination of Woody Allen and Mae West with soulful eyes and the kindest of hearts.

Posted by: Erin Gilmer | July 19, 2006 at 11:02 AM

I have this one guy who constantly comments on my blog and points out any misspellings on my part. He annoys the hell out of me, so I really debated long and hard whether to say what I'm about to say for fear of coming across as assholishly pendantic.

Because however you're a child prodigy turned adult savant, part of me thinks "steak au pauvre" was not an error on your part but yet a funny witticism ("pauvre" meaning impoverished). Whether intentional or not it was amusing that you discussed expensive restaurants serving steak au pauvre as opposed to steak au poivre.

Having said that part of me now feels ashamed as though I've missed the gist of of this post all for the sake of semantics. I'll go back and read the list, I promise.

In the meantime I'll break into the Scharffenberger for comfort.

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